Alone. Different. Broken.
These are words I’ve heard time and time again from the parents I’ve coached. So much beyond that though, this is how I felt raising three [un]identified 2e children. Parenting a gifted/2e child whether identified or unidentified can be utterly relentless. Your children are complex, different and they don’t understand themselves. This can make so hard for you to understand them. They grow up with the constant awareness of their difference, and you as the parent feel it more keenly than anyone. But what if I told you there was help?
How great it’s going to feel not to be blown in the wind of every emotion your child has.
I am Sheryl Stoller, PCI Certified Parent Coach®, founder of Stoller Parent Coaching, and the parent coach at The Center for Identity Potential. I’ve lived an intense – and gratifying – journey, guiding three (un)identified gifted, 2e children to flourishing young adulthood. It was too painful. My devotion to you is personal. I’m here for you the way I needed someone: As a collaborative, compassionate expert in the complexities of (un)identified gifted/2e families, pragmatically equipping you to transform struggles into thriving, connected growth. In addition to coaching individuals and couples, I lead parent groups, staffings, workshops, and presentations.
“There are few who can work with families of gifted and twice-exceptional children the way Sheryl Stoller can. She is not only perceptive, compassionate, and knowledgeable but also extremely effective and results-oriented. She is trained in conscious parenting approaches and has had tremendous success with her clients. I unreservedly recommend her!”
– Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Clinical Psychologist and NYT bestselling author
"Months after completing our work with Sheryl, we both use approaches and perspectives we learned from our sessions DAILY. We are so glad we did this for our family and ourselves"A.N.Oak Park, IL
“My sessions with Sheryl have provided invaluable guidance for me in specific situations as well as in the broad outlook for teaching my children the values I want them to take into the world. Through the process I have seen the relationship between my boys improve as well as my confidence as a parent grow. I am a happier parent thanks to Sheryl’s direction, knowing I have the tools and her support to guide me.”Mother of two (15 months and 5 years) experiencing challenges with sibling relationships and her own struggle to balance household demands with children’s needs
“I greatly appreciated the guidance in figuring out what I want to take a stand on. I am much more mindful of my interactions, filled with hopefulness, have changed habits and ways of thinking, and have better relationships with my kids. This process with Sheryl is a great fit for all different challenges – it helps you create a healthier more fulfilling family life and relationships.”K.T. Mother of 3 girls, Preteens and Teens
The parents who hire me have families in which behaviors, emotions, abilities, and/or sensitivities, are more intense than expected. Often their children are showing signs associated with or diagnosed as ODD, ADHD, ADD, and/or anxiety. Many have explosive or implosive reactions to challenges of living. Some parents know there are giftedness and twice exceptionalities involved, others don’t. All of my clients want to figure out and create customized mindsets and tools that work well – short term and long.
Find Sheryl Here
Events, classes, books, online resources, etc. This is where you can find out what Stoller Parent Coaching is doing.
Nurturing Consistency Class
Throughout all of 2018, I will be at the HeartGarden Studio in Oak Park, IL. Each month I will be teaching a new aspect of what is required for Nurturing Consistency in Getting A Hold of Yourself. The emotions and behaviors of gifted children can be relentless, and it can make it so hard to consistently get a hold of yourself. There are so many literal and figurative ways in which we can get a hold of ourselves. When we do, we create ripples that positively affect everything else – optimizing our children’s well being as well as our own.
Getting together twice a month creates a rhythm of learning together, imagining roadblocks and ways around them, followed by a couple of weeks for practicing at home. Returning for the second session that month allows you to both reinforce the habit you’ve already begun and dive deeper. Then you’ll go home, with time to practice the deeper understanding in real-time.
You can and you will make 2018 your year of nurturing consistency in getting a hold of yourself!
Commit to all or start with a few. Either way – let’s do this!
Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links; meaning, at no additional
cost to you, I will make a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who comes to you for help?
The parents who hire me have families in which behaviors, emotions, abilities, and/or sensitivities, go beyond expectations. Often their children are showing signs associated with or diagnosed as ODD, ADHD, ADD, and/or anxiety. Many have explosive or implosive reactions to challenges of living. Some parents know there is giftedness and twice exceptionalities involved, others don’t. All of my clients want to figure out and create customized mindsets and tools that work well – short term and long. They are looking to:
- Find effective parenting solutions that combine reliable information with the family’s unique personalities, dynamics and circumstances
- Alleviate feelings of being overwhelmed, alone, frantic, inadequate, discouraged, exasperated, worried about their children’s prospects
- Put joy back into their lives and family relationships
- Work better as a team with their spouse/partner and/or other supports
- Know and struggle with consistently making self-care a priority as a necessity for parenting well
- Create a calm, nurturing, connected family life for all to thrive
What services do you provide?
My area of concentration is supporting parents of children who are “more” – with heightened emotions, thoughts and behaviors.
I provide individual and couples parent coaching; group parent coaching; workshops and presentations.
In Individual and Couple Coaching
Topics Often Covered:
- Self-nurturing as the foundation for parenting well
- Consciously clearing our inner landscape to create clean energy in our interactions
- Setting boundaries that work, incorporating the valid reliable research along with parents’ values, concerns and goals, and the specifics of family members’ unique contexts.
- Parenting Styles, Children’s Learning Styles and the Meshing of the two
- Ages/Stages of Development for understanding behaviors in context
- Creating connected relationships and communication
- Collaborative Problem-Solving (CPS) to build trusting relationships and lifelong interpersonal skills
- Sibling relationships to nurture mutual care, support and considerate interactions
- Life transitions as opportunities for profound positive growth
- Motivation Development to inspire self-direction and perseverance
- School Personnel and Parent Relationships, enhancing the effectiveness of the collaboration for the benefit of the child
- Technology and Media, effectively using both to enhance life
Group Parent Coaching, Workshops and Presentations
I customize the content, format, location and number of sessions to the composition and needs of the groups. Group coaching, workshops and presentations are often privately sponsored. To learn more, read on. To register or to retain me for sessions, workshops, or presentations for your group, please contact me here.
- Interactive, eliciting creative participation
- Informative, providing relevant knowledge and perspective
- Inspiring, renewing energy, hope and confidence
- Practical, guiding participants to write a plan for using new approaches for existing challenges
Informal Groups / Workshops include sessions with:
- Pre-existing parent groups, such as playgroups, Girl Scout troops, book clubs, close friends
- Parents of children of a particular age
- Parents concerned with particular issues
Institutional / Organizational sponsors and venues include:
- Pre-schools, Elementary, Middle Schools, High Schools
- Parent Coordinators
- School Administrations
- Executive Directors, Boards
- Public, private
- Physicians’ Practices
- Community centers and organizations
See a sampling of Sheryl’s workshops and institutional clients.
How do sessions work?
Sessions take place either in person, by video-chat, or phone, and last one hour. After each session, I provide clients with a written follow-up that reinforces highlights of the session, including the discoveries, acknowledgments, aha’s, and the 1-doable step clients have committed to for the week ahead. While 10 – 12 sessions are usually optimal for reaping the full benefits of my coaching, when in the best interest of the client and their children, I aim to creatively accommodate whatever time and fee constraints they face.
What problems can be solved?
Specifically, parents hire me to help them with many issues, including:
- Transitions, i.e. entering a new phase of development, school, life
- Misbehaviors, i.e. power struggles, defiance, back-talk
- Children’s life-skills, i.e. cooperation and independence relative to sleep, hygiene, chores, family life, school, homework, friendships, siblings
- Personal growth as a parent, i.e. learning how to appropriately balance tendencies to fix, control, manage, and be everything for everybody
- External and internal pressures to have it all, do it all, be the smartest and best at everything, now
- Management of technology, media and peer influence
What is a PCI Certified Parent Coach?
A PCI Certified Parent Coach® is a professional trained to expertly guide parents to refine their parenting approaches in ways that effectively address challenges and enhance each family member’s short and long-term well-being.
These coaches are certified upon completion of The Parent Coaching Institute’s yearlong intensive graduate-level program, a program that was developed in conjunction with Seattle Pacific University.
The PCI coaching method enables clients to:
- identify and build on what already works well for them
- learn parenting approaches proven to be effective through evidence-based research
- gain clarity about their vision for their family
- effectively customize their parenting approaches to meet their personal vision
- benefit from the professional and personal experience of their PCI Certified Coach®
PCI Parent Coaching is not mental health therapy. It is not designed to heal deep emotional wounds. It is designed to benefit healthy parents dealing with parenting challenges. This may include parents whose children and parents who are under the care of therapists and/or psychiatrists. With the client’s consent, The PCI Certified Parent Coach® can confer with those professionals to work as a team for the well being of the whole family.
What is 2E?
2E stands for twice exceptional. It is a term that aims to capture the disparities within one person in terms of the depth and breadth of their abilities, capabilities, learning processes, and developmental evolution. Most simplistically, it refers to people whose measured “ability” in at least one area is at the gifted high/right end of the bell curve, while their measured “ability” in at least one other is at the far low end of the bell curve. The term 2E can be misleading since any one person is often exceptional in multiple directions and degrees on multiple dimensions. A more accurate term might be Multi-E.
What is Asynchronous Development?
While asynchronies are often evident in people with twice-exceptionalities, it is a separate term. Asynchronous development refers to when one or more area of developmental progression is out of sync with the progression and level in another area. For example, a child’s cognitive ability in conceptual thinking may be years above his or her chronological age, while that same child’s social awareness – or mathematical understanding -may be typical or lag behind what is the norm for her age. That child experiences asynchronous development.