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Emotional Regulation – Finding Peace Among the Chaos | Sheryl Stoller as a Guest on the Neurodiversity Podcast

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Learn 3 Steps to Get Aligned With Parent Partner

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If you want more alignment and ease with your parent partner in raising your children so all of you flourish now and into the future, this 35 minutes is for you!…

Aligned Parents Workshop

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How easy is it for us to slip into talking to each other with words that bring all sorts of negative energy and associations? Paul Banas (of GreatDad and Pregnancy…

A surprising everyday mother’s day wish for you

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Maybe lately you're seeing more clearly, and feeling more acutely, your foundational need for safety and security. With that, and so much more, it's quite a unique context for Mother's Day.…

“I’d find my way around it.”

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A strong sense of self can be born of many circumstances.  Whatever the combination of factors, we help our child and the situation most when we acknowledge and respect that…

“I wasn’t breaking overhead projectors. . .”

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Life is a social science experiment. From the moment we are born, all of us are witnessing our behaviors and those of others, and making meaning of the comparison. Each…

“I never wanted to destroy. I wanted to create.”

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The drive in us to create is foundational. When we as parents and teachers see a child revving up the people and things they’re with, we can help by asking…

I wasn’t ADD. I wasn’t a sociopath. . .

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Taken from that perspective, a child’s behaviors become an opportunity for the parent and teacher to discover what traits are being expressed in the child’s behaviors. When we’ve identified a…

Being present turns off survival mode

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When we are fully present with our child we are helping turn off their survival mode. A child knows when our mind is somewhere else. They know mom or dad…

When your energy and words match

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Children can trust themselves and their parent when their parent’s energy and words match. When there’s a mismatch, the child has to distrust either their parents or their own perceptions.…

Children are here to help us evolve

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Children are here to help us evolve and grow up.   There are many people throughout time who have said in many ways that children are here to help us…

Learning Life Skills Through Play

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Guide your children to learn life-skills through play - whatever their preferred form of play is. Sometimes we can outsource the forms of play that we really don’t enjoy. Others…

What is your system already doing to take care of you?

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What is your system already doing to take care of you? Catch yourself doing it. Then think, say, and feel:  “Look at me taking care of me!” You may not…

Help your child experience the power of self calming

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Help your children experience the power of self-calming and self-soothing, in achievable small steps.   I was looking through old pictures the other day, and found one of my daughter…

Help your children experience the power of being with their big emmotions

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Help your children experience the power of being with their big emotions, and not running away from them, by doing and modeling that yourself.   They've found with fMRI studies…

Guided Visualization: Creating your portal to energy, light, and love

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Moments of Light

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Rereading follow-ups I have written over the years for clients after each session, I notice so many ways parents bring waves of light that ripple to us all. Please let…

Easier Said Than Done – By Lacey Sikora

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These days, it can be hard to escape the stories in the media about grit. People call it grit, gumption, self-sufficiency. But how about calling it self-efficacy, believing you have…

Books

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Talk about books in which trying hard things is demonstrated – sometimes biographies. Ask children's librarians for books - The books can't be obvious because some of our kids will…

Conversations

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Talk with other adults in your child’s presence and talk with your child directly. “Wow! Look at how hard that must've been for them to learn, and get themselves to…

Play

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Find things to do with your kids playfully with the point of it being to be silly, and having fun making mistakes. Think of your child and what areas of…

Model

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MODEL: Brainstorm with yourself, your friends, and your partner, little moment to moment experiences of your own that you could voice aloud in the course of each day. Let them…

Limits Series: Ignoring for Now

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Some limits are non-negotiable and some are negotiable. Then there are the limits that can be ignored for now. These are the ones that you can let go for the…

Limits Series: Let Go

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As you’re pondering which limits to let go, ask yourself: Which are the rules/limits that I have that, if I were to let them go, it would create: JOY, LOVE,…

Limits Series: Negotiable Limits

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Some limits you set are negotiable. They are not directly impacting the safety of your child or others. These can be opportunities to be inviting your child into the limit…

Limits Series: Nonnegotiable Limits

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Your bucket “A” limits are so clear to you that you can say: “I love you too much to let you…” And you are so sure of the necessity for…

Limits Series: A, B, and C

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~Bucket “A” Limits are Nonnegotiable for Safety of Self & Others: Your bucket “A” limits are so clear to you that you can say: “I love you too much to…

Limits Series: A Secret to Setting Boundaries that Work

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Think about the moments you are feeling connected with your child – in the easy moments, and also in the not so easy moments. Why are you feeling connected? Odds…

Ever see the solution, and sharing it backfires?

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There are times when I know very deeply that if a person in my life actually did what I know would help them, their problem would disappear. However, when I've…

What To Do When the Do’s Don’t Get Done

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What to do when the do's don't get done? "Prioritize based on love" is the short answer. With each interaction, we are modeling and imparting to our children how to…

Point of Performance Cues

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For All With school starting, it’s an especially useful time to pick up new, environment-enhancing habits so family members are doing the have to’s. If you want to optimize the…

You Are More Than Your Mind

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For All Because there are so many thoughts that run through our minds, it is understandable that we live in the world of our minds. However, there is so much…

Emotional Regulation

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For All: Our ‘Defenses’ – whether in thoughts, feelings, or active words and behaviors – can be adaptive or maladaptive. When they create enough time and space to pace effectively…

Highly Refined Nervous Systems

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~For All: There are clues your system gives you all day long about how refined your nervous system is. One explanation of a “refined nervous system” is how attuned your…

Play Series: Reconnection

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1) General Accepting rather than resisting whatever the moment brings is the first step. Then: “How could playing with this shift it for the better?” That gives birth to possibilities…

Play Series: Honoring our Need for Play

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1) General Begin by giving yourself permission to build play into your daily life. Doing it for yourself, you’ll feel yourself being your very own best ally. That spills over:…

Play Series: Playing With the Moment

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1) General Accepting rather than resisting whatever the moment brings is the first step. Then: “How could playing with this shift it for the better?” That gives birth to possibilities…

Play Series: Playing with Challenges

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1) General Instead of “I have to” take on this challenge, try “I get to” take it on. I get to fool around with possibilities. Model going from “oh, no”…

Play Series: Savor

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1) General “On cloud 9”, “lighter than air”, “Heart’s so full it could burst” – these are just a few of the metaphors/similes that try to put words to the…

Play Series: I Notice

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1) General Your “Awareness-Self” is witnessing you living your life - aware of you experiencing life, without being the parts that experience it. If that Awareness-Self were taken away from…

Play Series: Tuning In

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1) General Connecting to our body through playful movement and experiences literally and figuratively pumps open our hearts to the joy of experiencing life. In these moments, we are strengthening…

Play Series: Rediscover Play

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1) General Often the low points in life send our playful-selves into hiding. Inviting ourselves to play anyway, invites our system to regain a balanced, integrated – even fun –…

Transitions Series: Honoring the Death of the Moment

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By honoring the death of this moment, and providing a soothing/reassuring pulling from the future moment for you and your child to be drawn to, the disruption is no more…

Transitions Series: Naming Value

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What do you value within the moment you’re leaving? What do you value from the moment you’re about to enter? When you ask yourself those questions, and voice them aloud…

Transitions Series: Beauty

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Whether it is a beautiful rock you find in the playground, a shell from the beach (that’s me;-) part of my office collection), or a breath, or an image in…

Transitions Series: Cleaning your Emotional Energy

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Cleaning your energy of your own relationship with a transition, you can assess and guide wisely, and optimize your child’s experience of his/her transition as well. When you are emotionally…

Transitions Series: Accepting the “As Is”

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Small strategic efforts to honor, factor in, and smooth the inherent discomfort of disruption when approaching transitions - those efforts nurture far less suffering, faster rebounding, and stronger resilience in…

Transitions Series: Counter Force

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You get to decide whether your “force” is one that contributes to resilience or to resistance, pleasure or pain, and ultimately to connection or to disconnection from self and from…

Transitions Series: Inertia

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It's no wonder that what we hope will be enjoyable often brings misery – We are fighting a force of nature! With that understanding, invite in compassion to lead you…

Summer Transitions

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Summer, by its nature, is a BIG TRANSITION. It also brings LOTS of little transitions with it - going from one activity to another. Each brings a mourning of what…

Safe Harbors and My 27 y.o. son during bomb scare

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How much would you give to have a safe harbor for your children? The hard truth is that a safe harbor is hard to come by in this current traumatized…

Collisions inside children’s minds

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My family’s journey is a cautionary tale on two counts: of having been “sleeping” and of having children who were internally experiencing such disparities in abilities and sensitivities in their…

Collisions inside parents’ minds

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Every moment was a collision of demands that needed tending – emotions, dishes, sorting, cleaning, things to get, projects, feelings, commitments to activities, to people, to homework, to places to…

Prioritizing hard? This will make it easy – if you let it

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I miss what could have been – moments of fun, shared enjoyment of simple experiences – with my mother who recently passed.  It took us MY lifetime of growing, and…