Maybe lately you’re seeing more clearly, and feeling more acutely, your foundational need for safety and security. With that, and so much more, it’s quite a unique context for Mother’s Day.
My wish for you, for me, for us, is that
in addition to being gentle with ourselves, with our imperfections, with our fears and self-doubts,
(grounding ourselves in the here and now by focusing on what our five senses are experiencing, and soothing ourselves also through the zoomed out perspective that all passes in time)
my wish beyond that is that
we practice loving and keeping ourselves safe in a powerful, often untapped, way:
Getting clear and following through on boundaries around ourselves in day to day living with our children, with each person in our family, helps everyone.
This clarity and follow-through on boundaries around ourselves keeps ourselves loved, cared for, safe, secure, and seen – by ourselves. How soothing is that!
And the clarity of those boundaries around ourselves is foundational for our children’s sense of safety and security.
That said, you and I are likely to fail at this often since this extreme situation also requires flexibility.
Each moment feels like a question.
Each is a chance to practice – to try, to fail, to assess, and in time, to try again.
I fail often.
Our ‘failures’ are sources of information, not judgments, helping us clarify which boundaries are in cement, and which in sand, which to hold, and which to flex. In time, we get clearer about the boundaries to nonchalantly set and hold in cement. The rest becomes negotiable. Some even gets discarded completely.
My practice is that each time I fail,
I zoom out and look from various angles
to clarify what boundary I needed but ignored,
or what boundary I held that needed flexibility.
I spend 30 seconds on feeling the boundary, or feeling the flexibility so that next time,
I can better notice, honor, and follow-through on holding to it, whichever kind of boundary it is, cement or sand.
May finding your self-loving, clearly chosen and kept boundaries around yourself
be your daily practice – a foundational part of your
happy Mother’s Day and Year Ahead!
I’m here with a free session for anyone who asks. This is hard and important. Just let me know, and I’ll be there, helping you find your clarity and strength.
Warmly with love,