Children can trust themselves and their parent when their parent’s energy and words match. When there’s a mismatch, the child has to distrust either their parents or their own perceptions.
The best we can do to help create the trust with our child is to be authentic – of course, in appropriate ways. Our energy needs to match our words. When we are angry, name it. And allow a modicum of the corresponding energy. A child knows when something we’re saying is not matching our underlying emotions through our energy. Their system – whether consciously or not – has to decide whether to trust itself and not the adult; or to not trust itself in order to be safe with the adult. Their outward behaviors may be reflecting their confusion and disconnect about the mismatches they are witnessing.